ThePeopleAlchemist Edit: Be your best self – #SmashYourCeiling, change starts from within -Business & Lifestyle Experimentation for #TheWomanAlchemist
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G in your world reflects your mental attitude toward yourself, so should you believe your mirror?
Hello there, I hope you had a nice and restful weekend. And for our cousins across the pond, I hope you had a fantastic 4th July.
Back to business now.
I’m not quite sure if you had the time this weekend to look back at your past experiences, failures and successes and write them down, unadulterated. Uncensored.
I guess perhaps not?
No problem. This week we are going to go through each area of our life and see what is reflecting back at us, starting with our idea of beauty/body image.
SHOULD YOU BELIEVE YOUR MIRROR?
A positive body image has nothing to do with how we actually look. Or our size. Or the wrinkles on our faces for that matter.
It has all got to do with how we think and feel about ourselves, internally.
Self-image, and body image is part of it, is not innate or inherited. It is acquired.
Think about it: when a baby is born, she (I’m using this pronoun as my blog is directed TO women AND FOR women, but it is the same for men) doesn’t have any idea of what beauty is. She doesn’t know what is the “right” size to be. What she hears and sees through the years build that knowledge. By what people say to her. By how she sees her mother and/or the women around her behave. Their relationship with their body and size. And food (yes, that too).
Have you ever wonder why when you go on a diet (any diet) and you start to lose weight sooner or later you regain it all back, if not more?
You might argue that is the diet fault. It was not sustainable. Sure.
However, that is not the only issue or THE issue. When a person is overweight and goes on a diet without altering the self-image, the person still sees herself as overweight/frumpy/whatever, and any weight loss will be temporary.
The self-image measures the deviation from the internal set point and immediately corrects the course. And so, you are back where you started.
Dr Maltz, a cosmetic surgeon and author of the book Psyco-Cybernetics, noticed when he was doing reconstructive surgery and removed let’s say a scar from a patient face, that in some patients there was not only a change in the person’s appearance but there was a change in their image and behaviour.
Sometimes, however, regardless of how successful the change was in the physical realm, there was no change in the psyche of the person.
This led him to postulate that we have two images – the one that first comes back from the mirror when we stand in front of it, and the one inside.
Hey, it is not all doom and gloom. The same way that a baby acquires and creates her self-image so can we create a new one. At any time.
The point this week is just to really understands what is our internal set-point so we can change it.
So, are you happy with your body? Are you comfortable in your skin? If yes, awesome, today is not for you.
If not, then perhaps you might want to spend some time looking back at your childhood, your parents/carers, teachers and all the messages you’ve heard defining what beauty is for you and your relationship with your body.
The best way I found to do this is with freewriting (or the dump the c*** on a page exercise as I call it). If you have forgotten exactly what it is and how to do it, click here for a refresher.
Write everything that comes to mind, freely, uncensored. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. The point is to dump all your thoughts on a page (better if at least three).
I’ll give you a prompt and then it is up to you.
Prompt: “When I think of female beauty these thoughts come to mind ……”
Now go, if you don’t feel like doing it, force yourself: it is like therapy but free. Remember: you can only change something you have awareness of.
See you tomorrow x
“Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz.
Psycho-Cybernetics is a terminology originally coined by Dr Maxwell Maltz in the 1960s, further explained in this bestselling book. Here, Maltz explains that our self-image controls our ability or inability to achieve any goal.
In this book, you can find techniques for improving and managing self-image visualization, mental rehearsal and relaxation – a prescription for thinking and actions leading to quantifiable results—one of my 4 books of the month.
Change starts from within; that’s why training your consciousness should be your Priority Numero 1 – a daily practice to silence your inner critic.